Who Keeps Writing These Assinine Things? Spam I Am!

    I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE

    My Dear Respectful One,

    My mother has asked me to look for a reliable person or persons that can assist us in investing Seven Million five hundred thousand Dollars that was moved and deposited by my late father in a bank in Europe.

    My father before his incarceration was chief English Teacher officer during the Reign of Chief Inspector Judith Steiner he was removed under the recommendation of the Dovrat Committee peace keeping forces. During his carreer he was very careful not to waste chalk or to order books from his home phone. In this way he was able to amass the above sum on a regular teacher's salary. However, after the military hoonta in our country, which he resisted with determination and intrepitude, he was viewed both as an unwelcome non person and as a nonwelcome un person.

    We are at this moment under asylume both political and insane, not far from the village of Breastov, Turkey. My mother is confined to her straight jacket to her serious illness, which her therapist claims has been exacerbated by her habit of taking letters written in perfect English and inserting into them deliberate errors so readers will believe that we really are deposed Emperors of Veronissa or or misplaced Modifiers of Macedonea. We've been doing this ever since E mail was invented. Surely you must have wondered who the hell we are. She (My mother Surely) insistence on she had asked that I should look for any serious reliable persons that can stand and recieve this money and still mentain the secrecy and protect the family's interestst. (Good sentence, Mom!)

    If you fill the criteria, I will willingly and with grace endow you with 50% or one half of the inheritance, upon your preference. There is nothing that you need to do to acquire this money except to underwrite the cost of getting a key made for the safe. For a trifling seven thousand dollars, you will become a person of unimaginable riches. My mother will even make you Err to the Silverbierg Throne . You must also include a kidney, preferably enclosed in liquid nitrogen because the one you sent last time in tomato sauce was totally unusable.

    On commencement of this transaction I want to let you understand that the future of myself and my goldfish Marla depends solely on this money. So please keep this business to yourself only to avoid raise eye brow of any third party.I shall give you other vital informations through my advise and instructions.

    I am eagerly expecting your urgent response. Alternatively I am urgently expecting your eager response. You can reach us at the following yoie@shadango.com., or by knocking your head, with determination and intrepitude, against a brick wall.

    Yours Sincerely,

    Barrie Z Silverbierg



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